I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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