i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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