i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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