What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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