oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i've created a new STD.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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