In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
