I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
