I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
