Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she looked like the before picture.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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