There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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