it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
