I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
