we have officially lost it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
