What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They took my balls.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
