your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think i have two assholes
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
