i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
