she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
