Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize