is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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