Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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