My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
