I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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