Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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