I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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