My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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