There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
