i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
