nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
