Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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