Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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