I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
