so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
