haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
