Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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