I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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