Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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