my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
