sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
