somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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