I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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