I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
