i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
