I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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