White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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