Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
