Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
