Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
