I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think my fart just growled at me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
