so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
