My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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