I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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