A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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