Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
