Jerry, you need to find god
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
what is it with giant penises always finding me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
