butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
