your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i drank out of a bidet.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
