Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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