you have to choose: penises or morals?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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